EJ's Too Sexy!
by Ladybug21
Summary: A random parody of the infamous song I'm Too Sexy by Right Said Fred... only sung by none other than Enjolras from Les Miz. If you are offended by any slightly ridiculous portrayal of Enjolras, be warned: This is NOT for you. Based on mostly the musical.


This is an extremely random song/poem/whatever about our favorite revolutionary leader Enjolras that I wrote with my friend Claire one day when we got bored of watching various "(Whoever's) Too Sexy" music videos for all of our favorite _Harry Potter_ characters on Youtube. Just FYI, Claire and I, along with some other friends, have decided that "Enjolras" is a lovely but entirely too complicated name for us stupid Americans to pronounce (never mind that the both of us have taken French for over 5 years now), so we've abbreviated our hero-in-an-awesome-vest's name to EJ. Easy to remember, easy to pronouce - everybody ends up happy. (Well, everyone but Victor Hugo, who is probably rolling in his grave at the fact that we are making parodies to "I'm Too Sexy" for his brave and buff revolutionary leader, but that simply can't be helped...) Apologies to any die-hard Enjolras fans out there who are offended by this lack of "proper respect" to the amazing Enjolras, but the nickname was really given as a sign of affection, and, if that in itself is going to outrage you, this is probably not the best thing to be reading anyway.

In case any of you are wondering why the rhymes are weird, be it known that in French, "Paris" is pronounced more like "Par-ee." And, for those of you who have not read the book, the reference to Cosette being a nun is in there because 1) in the book, she grows up in a convent and Valjean is seriously considering making her become a nun but decides that that would be too unfair to her, and 2) it rhymed, why the heck not? And the thing about Grantaire is not intended to be slash - it too is just kinda... there.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with the original song, I've even included the original song lyrics by Right Said Fred underneath the parody, so you can figure out exactly where all (OK, at the least, most) of the randomness in this parody comes from...

And, as always, the disclaimer: Neither I nor my friend claim to own _Les Miz_, nor any of the characters, regardless of how much we would LOVE to be able to claim EJ for our own...

* * *

EJ's Too Sexy!

I'm too sexy for my life too sexy for my life  
Life's going to leave me

I'm too sexy for my vest too sexy for my vest  
So sexy, the best  
And I'm too sexy for Paris trop sexy pour Paris  
Lyon et Normandie

And I'm too sexy for your monarchy  
Too sexy for your monarchy  
No way I can't be free

I'm a rebel you know what I mean  
And I do my little turn on the barricade  
Yeah on the barricade on the barricade yeah  
I do my little turn on the barricade

I'm too sexy for my gun too sexy for my gun  
Cosette is a nun  
And I'm too sexy for the café  
Too sexy for the café, oui, très très très

I'm a rebel you know what I mean  
And I do my little turn on the barricade  
Yeah on the barricade on the barricade yeah  
I shake my little flag on the barricade

I'm too sexy for my too sexy for my too sexy for my

'Cos I'm a rebel you know what I mean  
And I do my little turn on the barricade  
Yeah on the barricade on the barricade yeah  
I shake my little flag on the barricade

I'm too sexy for Grantaire too sexy for Grantaire  
Poor drunken poor drunken Grantaire  
I'm too sexy for my life too sexy for my life  
Life's going to leave me

And I'm too sexy for this musical

* * *

I'm Too Sexy

I'm too sexy for my love too sexy for my love  
Love's going to leave me

I'm too sexy for my shirt too sexy for my shirt  
So sexy it hurts  
And I'm too sexy for Milan too sexy for Milan  
New York and Japan

And I'm too sexy for your party  
Too sexy for your party  
No way I'm disco dancing

I'm a model you know what I mean  
And I do my little turn on the catwalk  
Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah  
I do my little turn on the catwalk

I'm too sexy for my car too sexy for my car  
Too sexy by far  
And I'm too sexy for my hat  
Too sexy for my hat what do you think about that

I'm a model you know what I mean  
And I do my little turn on the catwalk  
Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah  
I shake my little touche on the catwalk

I'm too sexy for my too sexy for my too sexy for my

'Cos I'm a model you know what I mean  
And I do my little turn on the catwalk  
Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah  
I shake my little touche on the catwalk

I'm too sexy for my cat too sexy for my cat  
Poor pussy poor pussy cat  
I'm too sexy for my love too sexy for my love  
Love's going to leave me

And I'm too sexy for this song


End file.
